Are We Still On? Dating in the Time of Flakes.
July 20, 2017
I scheduled a coffee date for 1 PM Thursday with some body on Bumble. We arranged this through the app that is dating night before around midnight, closing with, “I’ll see afterward you! ” The day of the date, when I was at the gym and couldn’t reply, I got a, “Still on for 1:00? ” text at 11 AM on Thursday. Hadn’t we just confirmed less than 12 hours ago? Had we perhaps maybe not responded at noon saying he not have shown up that it did, in fact, still work, would?
An additional example, We scheduled a night out together for a evening thursday. We confirmed the date, like the some time location, on evening monday. On Wednesday night, I received a text asking, “Still enthusiastic about conference tomorrow evening? ” Didn’t we already proceed through this? I guess I have fed up with other people’s tendency to bail (or flake or anything you desire to phone it) being projected onto future dates… in this full instance, me. Might be worse, yes, but is also better.
We provide the advice to my consumers to use the “confident confirmation” of “Looking ahead to seeing you tomorrow” vs. The poor “Are we still on? ” In conversing with both male customers (since We generally suggest the guy verifies every day prior to the date) and buddies, i am aware that many just simply take this “weak” approach because they’re afraid that then their date will not show up if they say, “Looking forward to seeing you, ” and don’t get a response. Let’s stop the madness!!
That I’m is realized by me somehow now into the minority of individuals who try not to cancel plans. I’ve a good feeling of obligation (shame? ), also if We don’t understand the other person, to uphold a vow I make. We write my plans in stone (which maybe causes a day that is heavy! ), and so I, as both a dating coach and someone, have a difficult time because of the method plans are no much longer set in rock for many people but more set in quicksand… fleeting at the best. Continue reading “Are We Still On? Dating in the Time of Flakes.”