When the Massage Table Turns Sexual: 5 Things Every Massage Therapist Wishes Guys Would Stop Doing
As a woman who’s been in the spa business as a therapist and a manager for over five years, I’ve basically seen everything — the good, the bad, the downright awkward. Not to mention, like all massage therapists, I put up with a seemingly endless stream of “happy ending” jokes all. the. time. heightened moments with male clients over the course of his or her career.
But let me just say that boners during massage appointments are totally normal. So to all the guys out there: You don’t need to be embarrassed. There is no need to dart out of the room. Most massage therapists are professionals and won’t just stare at your hard-on. We really don’t want you to feel any more uncomfortable than you already are. So just relax — and know that we are not judging you.
That said, there are some lines that shouldn’t be crossed. What do I mean by that? Let me break it down for you.
Wow sir, I see you have an enormous erection! How might I know this? Because you have ever-so-unkindly removed the blanket that was (purposefully) placed on top of you to make certain I am aware of your arousal. And then to add to my misery you want to talk about it!? Ugh. Gross. These little scenarios I’m completely over. You know what I’m thinking during this game of show and tell? That I want to end the service immediately — and I totally would if I could! Though, if you make this mistake, I’ll offer you the chance to take the hint that this behavior is not OK by placing another blanket on top you, all while silently praying that this is where your shameless peacocking display ends. If not, though — we are done.
No, really, this happens. If a male client is aroused and then his position is switched to lying on his stomach, I have observed (far too many times) that he might start humping the table. Continue reading “When the Massage Table Turns Sexual: 5 Things Every Massage Therapist Wishes Guys Would Stop Doing”