I do not indicate to really make it seem like you may be a single bad come across of getting 5150’d, however, I believe you might need a break and you may run having your head on straight before you could proper care also far throughout the providing applied. Find a therapist – a professional one to, maybe not a partial-professional, look into doing some cognative behavioural cures – maybe next to some anti-depressants -and get back again to mental shape prior to trying to help you diving to the informal gender.
I’m an early on lady whoever care about-regard and you may a matchmaking life are very compliment, but I appear to have a little problem with regards to to help you matchmaking nerds
And only a part note: brand new polyamorous society isn’t really someplace I’d highly recommend proper to visit trawling for no-strings affixed intercourse.
Aren’t getting myself wrong: the newest quiet, bashful and you can smart nerds is actually definitely my favorite sorts of guys, however, We seem to be unsuccessful in terms of getting an initial time. Just after much even in the event, I’ve noticed that there’s two difficulties I recently are unable to beat.
The first you’re that i generally suck from the understanding some body. That never be an issue with the greater number of outgoing variety of off men, however the usually timid nerd makes it a horror for me personally to figure out if the guy wants myself or otherwise datehookup not. You will find abadndoned innumerable guys considering it didn’t promote a damn throughout the myself –otherwise worse, which they surely disliked me personally- merely to read afterwards that they had ideas in my situation however, were too scared of rejection so that me see. And it also sucks. Therefore i try wondering if you can offer particular advice on ideas on how to properly know what’s happening inside a timid man’s direct.
Polyamory is mostly about numerous emotionally engaged matchmaking, besides sex, and a lot of poly individuals get upset because of the implication that they’re for some reason “easy” since they are perhaps not monogamous
Condition number 2 is the fact I’m the sort solid woman just who time to time arrives of because the a hostile HBIC (though I am doing softening my manners). In those times whenever I have managed to ascertain you to a beneficial nerdy child actually appreciated myself and mainly based my courage so you’re able to query him aside, he has acquired frightened and you may said no. Inside the two circumstances, We definitely knew which they actually liked me personally, compliment of some shared loved ones spilling brand new kidney beans.
So I would most enjoy it for people who could possibly offer specific pointers on precisely how to boost my shy-someone training event and the ways to method a geek versus frightening the new heck away your.
I do want to restate element of the page most quickly, Skip Nerdlover: “brand new silent, shy and you will wise nerds was undoubtedly the best types of guys“.
Note that, nerds? Discover people available to you who will be on you. Quit fretting about all that females-only-like-alpha-men bullshit and you may realize there’re women that was positively on the the type.
Now, MNL, We have talked about tips connect an excellent nerdboy before, however in general, the people you love make they a nightmare to help you realize because, like you said, they truly are too afraid of becoming denied. Obtained obtained too used to the concept that when they give you any clue regarding how they think, they will certainly get laughed in the if they are fortunate. If they’re not – and i pledge your, all of the timid nerd has received so it scenario tell you their lead – it starts with laughs, moves to presenting its smash undoubtedly shred the pride, stomp it toward soil, set it up burning, piss to your ashes right after which wade and you may tell all of people they know later. So they often best the casino poker face doing you’ll be able to… all the while lamenting the point that you do not know the way they feel.